I played a league match and lost a close one 4-6, 6-7 (3). Here is a breakdown of my strokes, strategies, mindset and overall reflection.
Serve (1-5) — 2
Streaky. I didn’t feel confident on my serve. This led to a higher number of double faults and a lot of second guessing on serve.
Forehand (1-5) — 3
Was a weapon at mid court, pretty steady but a liability when I tightened up and tried to force it. Success at disguising direction and placing winners from inside baseline.
Backhand (1-5) — 2
Tighter than I had played earlier in the day, which put a lot of short balls to his lefty FH. Still solid enough to rally and dictate, but again lost consistency when tryin to put the ball away/win/force the point.
Volleys (1-5) — 3
I came forward more due to getting a slice off his BH and did a good job of closing and hitting clean volleys. I didn’t move him quite enough and I occasionally took my eye off the ball, especially when looking for a winner. Closed well, but got lobbed a lot, he had good defense.
Overheads (1-5) — 3
They were great until they weren’t. I knew I’d get lobbed a lot based on many of our points and did a good job handling mid-court overheads. I’d have to hit a few in a row and did a good job (especially in the first set) winning those points. Second set, I dropped my head more and missed more.
Routine (1-5) — 1
Frankly I didn’t use my routine at all. In between points I simply tried to talk myself back into focusing, but tried to rely on combatting negative self talk, instead of using a routine to reset.
Mental (1-5) — 1/2
Similar to lack of routine, I went into this match feeling very tired and weak and instead of trying to let go and be present, I beat myself up and bullied myself into fighting harder. Ultimately, I let my emotions be more important than coming back to the present and playing one point at a time. I often felt like I wasn’t ready to play the point and then we were in it.
* I blew a 5-2 lead in the second set and the story I kept telling myself was that I always let them back in, or I can’t just close it out, or here we go again. There were a lot of streaks in points that were always one short of winning and then ended up at deuce. So the macro played out in the micro, where I focused more on the story than on the ball. I think this was my biggest issue and the reason I lost.
Stories:
I can’t find my serve today
I always miss the put-away/winner/last ball
I can’t keep my eye on the ball
I don’t have the legs to keep running for these lobs
I should be able to hit this guy off the court
Why can’t I consistently win points/Why am I so streaky?
Reflection:
I let my emotions get the better of me. I showed up with a defeated and tired mindset and my self talk skewed negative the entire match. There wasn’t much self encouragement and I spent a lot of mental focus and energy on combatting those stories and unhelpful self talk. Frankly, it was energy I didn’t have to spare.
I also want to add this perspective. I had trained hard twice already that day and spent time teaching on court and had been on site since 10am. So I wasn’t in the best shape to play a 7p singles match. I tend to be really hard on myself and I think being so tired and then getting angry capitalized what energy I had and at some point I stopped trying to fight those demons and just play, but I still felt carried away by frustration and anger and that bubbled up to the surface and I acted in ways that I don’t want to behave. It felt like my tennis mindset from juniors where I played out of fear and perfection and expected that I should win every point and that losing points and matches said something about my identity. It is interesting how quickly all that came back when I let it in the door. I also was trying a new racket, which maybe wasn’t the best decision if I didn’t feel confident in my body.
Also, my opponent played well. He stayed in points, he defended well, his slice, lobs and flat forehand worked well for him and didn’t break down in either set.
Plan:
If we were to meet each other again, I’d try and manage my energy better prior to the match, but mostly, I’d lean on a routine. I’d pick something that I would do between every point and if I forgot, I’d come back to it on the next one. I think that level of consistency in not focusing on my thoughts, feelings and stories, but on resetting and coming back to the present would be more effective than trying to use that time to combat my mental chatter. I’d also like to try to use encouraging self talk to build myself up rather than point out flaws and mistakes. If I am going to constantly be chattering on in my mind, at least it could be helpful.
Final Thoughts:
It was a tough match and I felt ashamed that I lost my cool in the second set. I was disappointed in myself for succumbing to negativity and acting out by shouting, cursing and having negative body language. I also think it was a great learning experience to see what breaks down when I am exhausted. It really wasn’t my body despite being tired, what I lost was the battle with my thoughts. I think a routine is a great way to stop getting pulled into those stories at all and I think some encouragement would go a long way for someone who is naturally hard on himself.
Losses teach you more than wins.